The Pancake Woman Q&A

Q. "Dear Pancake Woman,

I have a predicament. There are no hunters in sight! What do I do?

Sincerely,
Desperado"

A. Dear Desperado,

Fear not, dear one. You're not always supposed to see the hunter. When I talked about camouflage in my first lesson, I failed to mention that the hunters are JUST as camouflaged as you are, if not moreso sometimes. But you do have the upperhand. You have the better view; you're more familiar with your territory than he is; and your sense of smell is keener. Check for whiffs of bug spray, axe deoderant, etc. You may discover your hunter is nearer than you thought...

Yours truly,
The Pancake Woman


Q. "this is a sweet blog!! one question pancake woman - what if a deer jumps in front of you when your hunter finally sees you and aims? is there a rule among the deers on this subject that i am not aware of? because i think it is a shameful act."

A. Dear Worried Deer,

I am in complete agreement. Shameful indeed! Competition and cheating between the deer is a topic that is very broad, and I will be covering many of it's assets.

There are DEFINITELY rules for us deer. Rules 4 and 5 would answer your question. But I posted all of the rules for everyone's edification.

Take heart,
The Pancake Woman

The First 10 Limitations of Leaf Rustling

1. When a deer is of age, or maturity I suppose, they are allowed to stake claims upon the hunter of their choice, knowing full well that the only thing that would prevent that relationship would be the hunter's rejection. Another deer is not allowed to interfer with this claim. (Pancake woman here...I believe what this first rule is referring to, is the rule of tactfulness and care for our fellow deer. When a deer states their desire for a certain hunter, it seems rude for another deer to state their's too. But it doesn't mean the deer's affections are void. It merely means giving way to the former claim - but the claim may not be the outcome. Destiny will be the outcome.)

2. If a hunter rejects a deer, then that hunter is viewed as free from that claim. Thus, again available.

3. No deer is allowed to claim more than one hunter at a time. Distressing, I know.

4. No deer is allowed to jump in front of the "Bullet of Love" when it is meant for another deer.

5. But if it so happens that you are being targeted by a hunter, and another deer jumps in front of you to take the "Bullet of Love", you are free to take action. Tail pulling is the only thing strictly prohibited. Hoof stomping, hair pulling, teeth biting and gizzard punching is completely permissible. But ultimately, it comes down to... let the best deer win. (Hi, it's me the pancake woman, I just have to throw in one little comment here. When it says "let the best deer win", it really comes down to the hunter's type. He most likely won't go for the snobby-get-in-the-way-deer, so you really won't have to worry about it. But if he does go for the other deer, move on honey, move on. He isn't worthy of you.)

6. Staking claims on the best hunting areas is prohibited. It's a free country babes.

7. No deer is allowed to belly-flop into lakes without a Flopping License. (Pancake woman again...I just want to say that this rule is very necessary but I am not feeling compelled to explain it since we usually only have this problem with the Greenland breed and I believe they do not have internet access anyways.)

8. No abusing fellow deer, physically or verbally, if they have ticks or fleas.

9. Slumber parties are limited to 11 deers per party. And the parties must be at least 11 miles away from eachother.

10. Ganging up on one deer is prohibited.

Oh ladies, let us STRIVE to keep the peace amongst us. Rules are rules, but they can and will be broken. Competitiveness between deer can be a loss of love to every deer involved.

RUSTLE GIRLS, DON'T WRESTLE!

Your fellow leaf rustler,
The Pancake Woman