Dear ladies, Today, one thing I am going to talk about is the Desperate Doe. Desperate implying...well, desperate! For instance, what does a deer do when the wrong hunter corners it?
Now you must take it case by case. Some hunters will back off immediatly when you give them the Hoof of Warning. But others will be persistent on their find - no matter how happy or unhappy the "find" may be. Sometimes this is the hunters fault. But sometimes...this is the doe's fault.
If you have been alluring this hunter just for attention, well then, you deserve the awkwardness of the moment when he states his feelings. Cause you were begging for it with all the wrong motives. Very selfish my girl. Very selfish.
But maybe you unintentionally allured a hunter. Genuinely unintentionally. This makes the moment even more awkward and very unpredictable. An honorable hunter will back off immediatly. But, like I said, there are hunters that will stand their ground. What does a doe do?
Run.
Don't frolick, don't rustle, but run. Part of running involves fellowshipping with your fellow does and getting input on how to shake off the hunter in a kind manner. And if he lets up on the chase, don't pursue a "friendship" with him again without his initiation. Let the poor fellow be. And let him initiate a friendship again. Time is the best medicine in these situations. You've done all that you can do.
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Q. Pancake Woman,
Have you ever tried peanut butter on your pancakes? What about pickles? I fear I have made a complete fool of myself wrestling the leaves. Whenever the hunter is near, I just say and do the most stupid things. What if he is not even hunting....I am a dork. HELP!
Dodo Doe
A. Dear Dodo Doe,
Thank you for your comment! I have indeed tried peanut butter on my pancakes and I'll eat it every so often. But I am sorry to say that I have never tried pickles. Sounds...intriguing!
Well, deer, I am afraid that you WILL make a complete fool out of yourself if you "wrestle" the leaves. But I shall take that as a type-o and assume you meant to say "rustle" the leaves. Although wrestling them might be a form of rustling them...hmm. Not sure about that one.
Anyways, don't be so hard on yourself. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Firstly, every doe has her stupid moments. And sometimes, depending on the breed of doe, it can actually be attractive. But not usually, so scratch that. You just be yourself. Even when you feel like you look stupid, continue to step steadily. A hunter likes that in a doe. A doe okay with laughing at herself. A secure doe. A confident doe. A steady doe. Stop trying to show off! If he ever goes for you, he'll discover your true colors anyways. So sooner rather than later is what I always say. Show him who you really are.
And if you're not sure he's hunting or not, just crack a twig or two to see what happens. And if nothing does...have patience. He may start hunting soon. And, if I have heard correctly, hunters have their favorite hunting spots. ::waggles eyebrows::
Plus, there is no such thing as a dorky doe. What a crazy notion. Like I said, don't be so hard on yourself. Go eat some ice cream. Take a bubble bath. Indulge yourself deerie.
Cordially,
The Pancake Woman
4 comments:
Just an FYI, inniciate is spelled initiate. Cheers!
Ah, I may be keen at rustling, but not so at spelling. Many thanks deerie!
See Pancake woman, I am a dork. A dorky unintelligent Doe.....wrestle the leaves...HA HA HA HA.....I am laughing at myself now. Well thank you for your kind words. Every doe just needs to be patient. How do I take a bubble bath in a river?...I am afraid the bubbles are there for just a short moment before they quickly rush down stream. I have tried chasing them before but this is all but relaxing (or smart for that matter)!
Try the pickles...you won't be left unsatisfied...
Dodo Doe
Pancake Woman,
Thank you for the priceless service that you are performing for does everywhere.
Below are a few random and exceedingly humble thoughts in the category of HUNTERS TO AVOID.
The Young Hunter
This is the hunter (or often a group of hunters) that no self-respecting doe should be interested in. They are walking through the woods, gun in hand, but are really ill equipped for the successful completion of the hunt. The children (if we can call them that) have nothing to offer a self respecting doe. No job, no education, just some level of entertaining “charm”. They tend to move in packs, because they are afraid to be out in the woods on their own and would probably tremble in fear at encountering a doe one-on-one. The best way for a doe to recognize these youngsters is to watch them flail about in the woods. They will run to and fro in a pack at every sound of a leaf rustle or twig snap. Although they can be entertaining and will respond comically to the least rustle of leaves, my advice to does everywhere is to walk away. They are useless at best and whatever entertainment they provide is not worth it to the doe.
The Lazy Hunter
This hunter is also known as the selfish or wicked hunter. He enjoys the thrill of the hunt, but despises the hard work that occurs after a successful hunt is completed. He is usually one of the more interesting and/or handsome hunters in the field. He generally looks like just stepped out of a catalog with all of the latest hunting technology, but the doe must beware. He is only “play” hunting for the rush and challenge of attracting the poor doe that has gotten his attention. The doe must ask herself; does he want me or a trophy to show his friends? This hunter often possesses all the social skills to have many friends in the field with him, but he hunts alone, because his greatest fear is to be exposed for the selfish brute that he is. Avoid at all costs. And if you can’t avoid him sic your very big, strong, mossy-horned sire (if available) on him, who will plant a large hoof in the appropriate location.
The Clueless Hunter
This hunter can and should be in the hunt, but is sitting in camp with his friends. He possesses all the skills to be successful, but appears to be more interested in swapping hunting stories with his friends than actually hunting. He may even think he is hunting but never actually leaves the camp. I have seen does essentially walk up to such hunters and snap and rustle frantically, but to no avail. Unfortunately, it is the doe that ends up looking foolish, but the real fool is the hunter. Most times the clueless hunter figures it out after awhile, since he ends up in camp by himself, but some never do. Here is a simple truth for does everywhere IF HE IS IN CAMP HE IS NOT HUNTING. Don’t waste your time.
Hopefully, I have helped a few does out there.
P.S. Props to Broken Hunter. Vulnerability and poetry! You are truly a skilled and clever hunter.
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